“Why are we at this restaurant, Mommy? Why not Chick-Fil-A?”
I smiled at my four-year-old. “Because Mommy’s tummy is hungry for a salad.”
“Your tummy is yearning for a salad?” he returned.
“Yes,” I said, now very curious why our conversation about take-out was getting so sophisticated.
He went on. “Yearning is more than wanting.”
“Yes .…” I said. “How did you know that?”
“In the Jesus Storybook Bible, it says they were like ‘lost children yearning for their home.’”
After I picked myself up off the ground, I thought about how God beautifully worked through the power of reading. I would have never ventured to teach my preschooler the word “yearning,” but the Holy Spirit did. And when my son’s little ears plucked that word out of an artfully told Bible story, it made for a funny start to a sweet conversation.
When we bring great books into our homes and take the time to read them with our kids, it makes a difference in the moment and bears fruit in daily life.
And this goes beyond Christian books. Even our children’s favorite library books can provide opportunities for them to deepen their relationship with God and with us.
As caregivers, we are like gardeners, and family reading time can help us cultivate kids’ hearts as we: (1) prepare the soil, (2) plant the seeds, (3) nurture the growth God provides, and (4) enjoy the process. These basic “faith gardening” principles apply not only to parents and grandparents but children’s ministers and Christian teachers, too!
1. Prepare the Soil
Gardeners know seeds grow best in fertile soil with just the right amount of sun, shade, and water. We all want our children to grow up in “good soil”—environments where they feel safe and secure, where they face challenges with the right amount of support, and where they know they are loved—not for what they do but because they are God’s treasured creation.
Even the most intentional parent or teacher, though, can forget to nourish the foundation and jump right to all the things kids must learn and do. I’ve been there! That might work for a little while and even bear some fruit, but if we want kids to have a right view of our loving God and take ownership of their faith as they move into adulthood, rich soil is critical.
Reading Time Says, “I Love You”
Cultivating a nourishing place for seeds of faith to grow starts with the basics: warm eye contact, caring touch, and words of affirmation and respect. The beautiful thing about a family reading habit is it incorporates all those basics and a lot more. When we make time to sit with our kids, choose a book that resonates, share closeness, and enjoy laughs or heartfelt moments—these actions say, “you matter to me.”
Different Seeds, Different Soil
And just like different plants need sun, water, and nutrients in varying amounts, what makes one child feel loved and respected may not resonate with another. I’ve been amazed at how very different my two boys are in this regard. My 14-year-old wants a fist bump and for us to read different books side by side while my 11-year-old welcomes a million hugs and has a very long list of books that he wants my husband and me to read with him. When I respect their differences and share love in a way they want to receive it, I’m honoring the way God made them and creating a place where seeds can flourish.
2. Plant the Seed
Sharing stories together doesn’t just prepare the soil. It is one of the most impactful ways parents and teachers can plant seeds of God’s love and truth. As an author, teacher, kidmin person, and mom, I love using children’s books to get kids thinking about their faith because:
- God created our brains to learn best through stories and play.
- Great kids’ books have a knack for communicating important messages in succinct, age-appropriate ways.
- Books let kids get close to beautiful art.
- Children’s books offer a familiar format, even for kids with no church background.
- The best kids’ books delight children! And it’s always helpful to have an easy win when it comes to planting seeds of faith.
Books that share biblical truths are great, but discussing where we see God and his principles in general market books is important, too. It gives our kids practice in hearing from and communing with God when they find themselves outside the Christian context of our home and church environments.
3. Nurture the Growth (that God Provides!)
Here is something to celebrate: We don’t have to make seeds grow. We can’t. That is God’s job! In 1 Corinthians 3:6, Paul writes, “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth.”
Trust the Greatest Gardener
We can plant and water, but only God makes good things grow. I admit, as a parent and teacher, there have been times I felt like I would never see evidence of growth, but then (seemingly) all of a sudden, they say thanks without being reminded, they offer to voice the prayer, they are kind to their sibling or classmate. In these times of waiting, we can be assured that God cares even more than we do. He is waiting to hear our prayers for our children. And he’s way ahead of us. We can trust him with the growth.
And we can keep nurturing!
Talk to Your Plants (and Let Them Talk, Too)
With kids, one of the best ways we can nurture their growth is by getting them talking—processing their understanding out loud.
This is hard for me because I love to talk. Whether it’s because I’m excited about what God has taught me or I want so much growth for my kids (and forget it’s not all up to me) or I just want to fill dead air to keep it from being awkward—staying quiet is hard.
I encourage you to WAIT (“Why Am I Talking?”) and listen. Research shows that kids learn more from talking it out than from listening only!
When Gardening Gets Tough
Of course, reading time isn’t always easy. Here are some tips for common challenges.
Conversation Starters
I know it’s hard to draw out some kids. One method to spark discussions with little ones is “Pause, Point, Ponder”:
- Pause to see what kids notice and what questions they have.
- Point to details in the illustrations and help kids make connections to their own feelings or experiences.
- Ponder with kids what’s happening in the story and how it relates to God’s truth.
An open-ended question for older kids that often helps us dive into spiritual topics is, “Where do you see God in this book?” Said another way, “What about this [scene, chapter, situation] reminds you of God’s principles or His character?”
Your kids may not always have an answer. Hey, I don’t always have an answer! When I speak to parents and teachers on this topic, I share about how awkward it was the first time I tried to go deeper in a book with my youngest kiddo. I felt pretty ridiculous.
But, that’s okay! When I can’t come up with anything or my kiddos won’t engage, I often say to them, “That’s okay if we don’t know. It’s good to get in the habit of asking ourselves these questions.” It often feels like a gift just to remind them of that.
Tips for Reluctant Readers
Definitely hear me say that family reading time is not the only way to nurture your relationship with your kids and help them grow a strong faith in God. Maybe you enjoy doing other things together like cooking, exercising, traveling, or gardening! Go for it!
If you do want to find a reading rhythm in your family, here are some things to try. We talk through a few of these tips here on the Empowered Homes podcast.
- Model excitement and curiosity. They often take their cues from us!
- Set up a cozy spot. Try mixing up the surroundings to add interest.
- Leave books lying around. It’s amazing what can happen when we place an interesting book in plain sight and don’t tell them to read it.
- Listen to books. Audiobooks have many of the same reading benefits as hard copies.
For Younger Kids
If you have littles, here are some things to try during reading time.
- Go at their pace. If they get wiggly after just one page, that’s okay. Try again another time.
- Use interactive books. Books that encourage kids to tap, sing, or shout create fun moments, and books with textures or flaps are great for busy hands.
- Get wild! Reading doesn’t always have to be calm. Try acting out the story or using funny voices.
For Older Kids
If you have older kids, here are a couple creative ways to inspire reading time that have worked for our family.
- Swap spots! I heard this from another mom. If a child would rather opt out of reading time, offer to do one of their chores for them IF they’ll read to you while you do it. It’s probably not a tactic you want to pull out all the time, but once in a while, it could be just what the doctor ordered.
- Read side by side. As I mentioned above, sometimes my son and I will sit side by side reading different books. He feels more grown up, and we can still pause and talk about what we’re reading every now and then.
4. Enjoy the Process of Growing with Your Child
Finally, enjoy the garden God is growing. Of course, things will not be perfect, so be ready to give yourself grace. And when you see the tiniest growth or a little bit of fruit, celebrate that! Make sure kids know you see God working in their lives. Tell them often how much you value them just because they are God’s amazing workmanship. And remember you are God’s masterpiece, too.
Check out the Power Parenting Video Collection
Summer Rhythms, Free Play, and Activities For the Whole Family
Boundaries, Patience, and Pregame Talks
Primary Faith Trainers
