Circumstances and a Need For Control
Growing up in poverty was a constant struggle. Circumstances seemed to dominate every aspect of my life. There were very few choices, I just had to live with the hand that was dealt to me. Overlay domestic issues, and it became a perfect storm of constant waves crashing over my head. I didn’t know how to just ride it out, but instead, I tried to cope. Often times in very unhealthy ways.
One way that I tried to cope was by trying to control…everything! I hated the chaos I grew up in, the lack of choices, constant limitations, and having to accept my circumstances. The fight for every little thing was so imprinted onto my persona, it was hard to release and let go of anything! I was desperate to have some sort of control over my life so I began rearranging and organizing things. The few material things I did have were constantly being shuffled and re-staged…closets, cabinets, furniture, etc. I enjoyed having control of even the smallest of things because it somehow lifted me above the chaos around me. It became my eye in the storm.
Surrendering Control to Go With the Flow
In a perfect world, I probably would have followed a more creative path, but that was stunted by those early circumstances. Fast forward and I still thrive on orchestrating an environment and having control of all the details, but recently I realized that in a collaborative effort on a joint project, I am struggling with going with the flow. Surrendering control is hard for me, it’s hard to share…anything! The old poverty mindset was triggered, “What’s mine is mine and you can’t touch it!” Not the best attitude, and certainly lacking “there’s no ‘i’ in team” spirit. I quickly realized there were some old wounds that still needed healing, so I asked the Lord for help!
But God! He sees me and my lack, and has so much more for me. A controlling spirit is in direct opposition to the abundant and free-flowing life He wants for me. Why would I continue to operate from a poverty mindset when He has made me whole, complete, full, rich, blessed, and loved? How freeing it is to release and let go because: A. control is a facade anyways and B. there is no lack in Him!
Psalms 37:4 – Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart’s desires.
Psalms 23:1 – The Lord is my shepherd: I have what I need.
Philippians 4:19 – And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
Matthew 16:25 – For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life because of me will find it.
Romans 12:13 – Share with the saints in their needs; pursue hospitality.
Psalms 34:10 – Young lions lack food and go hungry, but those who seek the Lord will not lack any good thing.
Matthew 5:6 – Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
James 2:5 – Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Didn’t God choose the poor in this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom that He has promised to those who love Him?
Provision For All Our Needs
Do you see His provision? Poverty and the accompanying mindset does not take God by surprise. He has covered it. He has set me free from the controlling spirit. He has provided for all my needs. I can operate from an abundance mindset. I can release and let go and share. I do not need to control, but can go with the flow. I am free!
I am so grateful for this breakthrough. I received His truth over my life. I pray that He continues to speak to me so that I may continue to walk in freedom and not be dominated by lies or a controlling spirit. I am full in Him and He flows through me from His fullness.
Psalms 112:9: He distributes freely to the poor; His righteousness endures forever. His horn will be exalted in honor.
2 Corinthians 9:8: And God is able to make every grace overflow to you, so that in every way, always having everything you need, you may excel in every good work.
