Parenting has many ups and downs, and adding in a child’s special needs can make those ups and downs feel like a never-ending roller coaster. As special needs parents and Christians, we may often find ourselves wondering how to depend on God during difficult times.
Scripture teaches in Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; in all your ways know him, and he will make your paths straight.” How can you do so during difficult times as a special needs parent? Remember these three truths:
- God is in control and he is working all things out for your good.
- No matter our circumstances, God is where we find true peace and joy.
- When we feel helpless, God is more than enough.
The God who reconciled us to himself when we were opposed to him as sinners will never abandon us, even during difficult times when our faith wavers. Romans 5:8.
1. How can I trust God’s plan when I don’t understand it?
One source of great comfort in difficult times is the knowledge that God is in control.
Let’s just focus on who God is. The Bible uses many words to describe God’s character: light, almighty, holy, just, loving, merciful, faithful, good, kind, and patient. This partial list of the many attributes of God are not simply qualities he happens to have. They are aspects of his very being. Although those words do not encompass all that God is, they still paint a beautiful picture of him.
One particularly striking descriptor is the truth that God is light. 1 John 1:5 says, “[W]e have heard from him and declare to you: God is light, and there is absolutely no darkness in him.”
Now, think about what God has chosen to do with his control. He is working all things for the good of those who have put their faith in Christ and love him. Romans 8:28 says, “We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.”
Since we know God is light and darkness cannot exist within him, we are reminded that God does not desire to harm us. We may not understand why our circumstances are as they are, but we know God has a plan for our lives. This plan is being used for our good and for God’s glory.
Remember that God is in control and he is working all things out for your good.
2. How do I find peace and joy in the middle of so many challenges?
Emotions can be overwhelming. We know that parenting a special needs child can take us through many emotions time and time again. Sometimes overwhelming negative feelings start to skew our view of the truth.
When our eyes become fixed upon our circumstances (especially during challenging times) it leaves little room for us to keep sight of where our peace and joy truly lies. Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
Our peace and joy are in Christ and not in our circumstances. Our circumstances will continue to change, but Romans 8 reminds us that God never changes. “Who can separate us from the love of Christ? Can affliction or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: Because of you we are being put to death all day long; we are counted as sheep to be slaughtered. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” (Romans 8:35-37).
No circumstance separates us from the love of God. “For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39).
Remember that no matter our circumstances, God is where we find true peace and joy.
3. Why do I feel so inadequate for the role God has given me?
To be clear, we’re woefully inadequate to accomplish any good on our own, including in our roles as special needs parents. But that does not need to throw us into the pit of despair. Through scripture, God makes it clear that we are never left to handle our troubles alone.
In 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Jesus’ disciple Paul shares what Christ told him in his affliction.
[Christ] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.’ Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me. So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and in difficulties, for the sake of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
God perfects his power in our weaknesses. Our fragile existence is an opportunity for us to acknowledge our weaknesses so that God’s strength and grace may be on full display. When we realize we’re incapable of facing our everyday challenges as special needs parents alone, we are able to fully rely on God and rest in him.
Remember that when we feel helpless, God is more than enough.
We can trust he’s perfected his plans for our lives.
Through the big and the small, the Lord reminds us that we can trust him and his perfect plan for our lives. Keeping our eyes fixed upon him allows our hearts to be prepared to receive the peace and joy that God so freely gives. Our lives may fluctuate, but he never changes. We can rest in him knowing that he deeply cares for us; he has purposely and lovingly chosen us for this role as a special needs parent. Knowing all of this leads to only one conclusion: We can, without a doubt, depend on God during hard times.
Check out More Special Needs Resources
Depending on God in Trials as a Special Needs Parent
Supporting Neurotypical Siblings of Special Needs Children
What Does the Gospel Say About My Child with Special Needs?
How Can I Trust My Special Needs Child Understands the Gospel?
Grace in the Chaos Episode 9: The Mason Family
